Temper, meet brick wall.....

Thursday, August 4, 2011

To You: A Totally Untrue Story of Coming Out

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Mason Anderson has everything—he is wealthy, with more money than he is used to, a sexy girlfriend and youth. At 19 years old, he could feel himself changing and his attraction to women is gone. The primal urges surging through his body is for the hard, tone flesh of men. As if starting to date the first time wasn’t hard enough—now Mason must face the fact that he is Gay and navigate the dating world all over again with the help of two amazing friends and a craving for a rather sexy—older police Captain.



I was up long before the sun and lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed nor could I bring myself to roll over. I drifted in and out of a light sleep and by the time I could get out of bed it was well past ten. There was a commotion outside and I ran to my window to see what was happening. Mrs Anton’s grand children were chasing a cat down the street with a broom. I arched a brow and watched them until they were long gone. Perhaps I took too much pleasure out of seeing that, I don’t know, but it was fun to see the kids.

But soon that fun was over and I turned my attention to the acceptance letter. It had so much instruction I hadn’t noticed before. Filling out the papers that were required of me, I stuck them in an envelope and carried it to the car. I dropped it on the passenger seat so I didn’t forget it and walked back into the house.

Christopher called a couple of times, but both times I missed him; once I was outside making my envelope run and the second time I was in the bathroom. Then I got swallowed in my writing and forgot. When the telephone rang again, I grabbed it simply because it surprised me.

“Yeah?” I tucked the phone into that spot we all use; between our shoulder and head.

“You still alive over there?” Christopher wanted to know. “Was calling to see if you needed any help for your date.”

“Thanks for reminding me.’ I groaned and eased away from my laptop after hitting save. “I was trying not to think about it by writing.”

“Like that was going to stop you from thinking about it. How do you feel?”

“Like I’m stepping from the frying pot and into the fire. But I’ll survive. You’re right. If I need to know I have to go and find out. I can’t just wait for the answer to fall out of the sky.”

“Good boy—you need help dressing?”

“What’s wrong with the way I dress?”

Christopher simply laughed.

“Yeah yeah, you don’t have to rub it in,” I muttered. “I’m just going to wear a black pair of dress pants, my leather jacket with a white tee under.”

“Well, hello!” Christopher said in a deep, sexy voice.

“Fruit,” I accused.

“And don’t you forget it. Anyways, I have to get back to work. Call me when it’s over? Just try to relax and be the fun you, not the grumpy, unsure you.”

“Thanks X,” I said. “Thanks.


I changed my car to a silver sports car for the date. There was nothing wrong with the car I usually drive. It was only that I was starting to feel my control slipping and I wanted something to put me back between the lines. The engine purred along the streets, through the slowly dying sun. My mood rose and crashed in the space of a second and at one point I had to pull over to the side of the road. My heart was going too fast. My throat was dry and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. I rubbed my sweaty palms against my thighs over and over until they were hot and was about to chafe.

You are over-complicating this.

I sat in my car, staring at Bao’s address on my cell phone and I wanted to turn and run. I was a block away from his place. The longer I sat there, with the engine running, the worse I felt. My stomach was doing a strange little flip that made me want to hurl. But I couldn’t tarry longer for it was getting late. Hauling in a breath, I cranked the car out of park, checked my mirrors and pulled from the side of the road continuing to his driveway and hopped from the car.

The house before me wasn’t one of great expense but the lawn was neatly cut and the tricked-out black sedan parked in the driveway made up for it. It was small in comparison to the homes around. It had a bay window at the front that looked strangely out of place. There was a porch swing, rocking on its own on the veranda and the front door was open but the storm door was closed. My father used to do that when we went to the cottage in the summer time. When I asked why he would simply say, “it’s my way of letting God in.”

As a child that confused me. Now that I’m older, I got it. My father wasn’t a church going man, but he was spiritual.

With a quick look back at my car, I jogged up the front steps with Christopher’s advice about not acting nervous playing on repeat in my head. Wiping my palms against my thighs, I lifted my chin and rang the doorbell.

Bao appeared almost instantly. This time he was dressed in all black again, but the difference was, he wasn’t wearing a uniform. This time he was wearing a black pair of pants with a black jacket. Beneath it, a dark red t-shirt peeked out. A silver chain hung low around his neck with a cross as the pendant and I smiled.


“Hi. Do you want to come in? I have to find socks.”

“Making me wait, right?” I laughed when he smirked and opened the screen door. I was walking by him when he reached up to kiss my cheek. Without thinking, I pressed my palm softly against his cheek and kissed his cheek before stepping by him into the house. I kicked off my shoes, out of habit, and followed him into the living room where he left me. The inside of the home was small yet cozy and clean. Looking around, I saw family was very important to him. For the first time in a long time I missed my father. I often time blamed him and my long dead mother for not having other children; for alienating the rest of their families. I walked around, peering pensively at each picture and a few trophies that lined a small shelf.


“Yes…you have a nice family.”

“Thanks. Most of them are back in China, but I visit. Come on.”

I allowed him to take my hand and lead me out of the house. He stopped to lock the door behind us and when he turned around he whistled.

“You’re driving that?” Bao asked.

I looked into his eyes and nodded. “That’s my pride and joy,” I joked like my father would have. I opened his door for him and watched him slide into the leather seat. Closing his door, I walked around the car and climbed in beside him. The truth was I had no idea where I was taking him. It wasn’t like I could take him to the same place we met. I made a left turn at the end of his street and turned for the highway.

“Can we open the windows?” he asked.

Nodding, I hit the button and the windows on both sides slid town. I glanced at him and saw him smiling with his fingers out the window in the wind. I used to do that as a child, just to feel the wind blow through them at top speed. Suddenly he lifted his hand and touched my hair. I jerked slightly.

“Sorry—should have warned you about that.”

“It’s all good. I just didn’t expect it.”

He caressed my head, stroking the back of my neck softly. The urge to close my eyes and let my head fall forward was so strong, I groaned and took his hand away. I dropped it on my thigh instead but that too was a bad idea. His hand traveled up my thigh, down my thigh, then across. It brushed against the front of my pants and my cock took notice and began rising. He squeezed it gently causing me to moan.

“I’m driving,” I managed. “You have to behave.”

“It’s good to know I turn you on, Mason,” Bao smiled, caressing my thigh. “A man wants to know that.”

I glanced at him quickly then pulled off the highway and then north. Finally we pulled up before one of my favorite restaurants. It was called Azure. We walked in together and was shown to a private table out of the way of the others. When we were given our menu and the waiter left for our drinks, Bao cleared his throat.

“Are you loaded or something?” he questioned. “Because you drive a kick ass car—I think that’s one of only ten left in the world. And you show up to a restaurant that has no pricing on the menu and they just say hello Mr. Anderson. Your table is waiting, Mr Anderson. I’ve never had that before.”

“Or something,” I replied. Finance was something I hated to discuss. The word loaded just sounded dangerous, like a gun, cocked and ready to go off.

“How am I supposed to order if I don’t know how much stuff cost?”

“Don’t sweat it.”

“Alright…” he replied.

But he didn’t really sound convinced for I could still feel his eyes on me. There was a certain heat that followed his gaze so I looked up. He had closed his menu and was looking at me with his head tilted to the side.


“I keep watching you lick your lips,” he whispered, lounging back in his chair. “And I’m wondering what it would be like to kiss you—just to feel you against me—I’m sorry. This is only our first date.”

My heart started hammering inside my chest. My palms sweated. I wanted to kiss him too. But could I? Did I dare? Was this my fork in the road? Was this the last line before I am plunged into a world of being gay and there would be no turning back? I was over-thinking again for Christopher’s advice began playing on fast repeat inside my head. I eased back in my seat with the force of the memory.

“Alright…” I said softly. “Kiss me.”

“You’re messing with me. I can see the smile in your eyes.”

“Am I? I’m right there, Bao. You’re going to have to come get me.”

He hesitated—I saw it in his eyes. But soon he climbed from where he was to sit beside me in the booth. I reached up and gripped his ponytail, yanking it free and tossing the tie on the table. Burying my fingers in his hair felt almost like heaven. Tightening my fingers, I eased his head closer and closer to my lips. My heart raced fiercely, my body burnt and my cock throbbed. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t let him go. I couldn’t give up on what was happening. With a sigh of surrender, I slammed my mouth over his, spreading my lips as his tongue shot into my mouth. He groaned, but I couldn’t do anything but allow him to ease me deeper into the plush seat and take over. He braced a hand into my chest, licking my lips and sucking my tongue. Fireworks exploded behind my eyes, my body burned sweetly and my cock begged for release.

I am gay.

A voice cleared and he pulled from me but not before I stole another quick kiss and untangled my fingers from his hair. The waitress standing there was flushed red and I laughed. “It’s alright,” I told her. She nodded, put down the drinks and all but ran from the room.

“You know we’re getting a new waitress right?” Bao asked.

“I figured—come here,” I whispered. My body was trembling as if I was going through withdrawal from him. I wanted to taste him again, if only for a little bit.

He eased across the small space, giving me his lips. I took them gladly, drinking from them until my lungs screamed for air. I released him, just as a new waitress walked over to take our orders.

I knew she knew.

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Now at Dreamspinner Press

Now at Dreamspinner Press
"This story is about two grown ass gay men that each have a little doubt for one reason or another if their relationship will work. The story is conveyed well and kept completely on the adult playing field, I loved it! When these two get going in the bedroom it is passionate and sensual."--TSM