Temper, meet brick wall.....

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

GRL - You have disappointed me

Let me preface this by saying the following: This post is going to piss people off and at this point I don't mind. you want to get angry, get angry  - but ensure you're mad for the right reason. Wrong is wrong no matter how you put it.

So for a few years now I keep hearing people talking about GRL and how much fun GRL was and how I should go. Because for the last little while, I couldn't afford to go away much especially to some conference that is in a different country because with bills and tuition, there isn't much left for anything else.  Some of my readers asked if I'd ever go and I kept saying I wasn't sure. Anyways, last year, I decided this year, 2013 was going to be my year. I could go to GRL and even visit a friend of mine who lives in Savannah Georgia. 

Tonight I was writing and a friend of mine got really upset. I wasn't sure why she was until she copied and pasted a link in our chat window and asked me to check it out.

I'm not sure who wrote this post or if they thought about what they wrote before they did it but here's the link. Now I'm not trying to be a bitch but I am really disappointed in the organizers of GRL (or whoever posted this) for this post.  I have a few issues with this post but I'm just going to take screen captures of a few. I was sent this website link:

When I took media in university, they drilled us with all sorts of things from the writing of Press Releases to what to do when your client is a Lindsay Lohan sort that you're constantly having to clean up their image.  But the one thing they stressed over and and over was this:

 It's not what you say, it's how you say it. In the post they started out with the regular pleasantries--you know the kind. The kind of niceties you give when you're about to drop a hammer over someone's head.....And you keep reading and then WHAM!

This is my first issue with this post. While I respect your right to want whoever you want to be 'included' in your endeavor  it is quite offensive to say you're only picking a list of "must have" authors no matter if they were voted for or not. What is this saying to other authors? The "Must-have" authors are the same authors sitting at the top of the LGBT world and the rest of the authors who aren't "must-have" just got alienated and is pretty much being told to go screw themselves.  Does this mean because of the rest of us aren't "must-have" authors we can't get a good spot in GRL because we aren't worthy? I mean come on. The LGBT writing world is petty and elitist as is so now you just have to make it worse? What is this supposed to accomplish?  Most of these authors are the same ones monopolizing everything else. Every corner of the genre is being controlled by the same few so called "must-have" authors.

Wait...I thought the "must-have" authors were the ones to draw the big crowds? Crap, I am so confused. The truth is publishers do bring a big chunk of change to these conventions. I understand that and I totally get it. But without the authors, would we have any publishers? What would they have to publish? And "not with our current numbers" are you joking? You're alienating a good number of LGBT authors and then you're going to complain that the numbers of authors going to these things cannot carry it so you need publishers to do that? You can't have it both ways.

I suddenly feel left out into the cold by the one convention that comes close to my Genre that I was seriously planning on attending. The plain truth is there is something wrong here when we are basically told if  you aren't considered must-have you probably won't get in. I scrimped and saved for this convention this year. I saved every extra scent I could muster and I finally had enough to go but I won't be going to GRL this year or next. I am very disappointed. I feel as though I was kicked in the gut and its not a very nice feeling. I will not support a cause or organization who would so blatantly disrespect authors the way this post has. The truth is, I think this year my money will be better spent going on vacation. I hear Jamaica is nice that time of year.

That is all,


  1. Very eloquently stated. Thank YOU!

  2. *hug* I'm trying to retain a somewhat quiet front on this, but well said Remmy. I feel the same way. That just horse kicked in the gut feeling sucks. :( Whatever the thought behind their changes, it doesn't change the fact that it makes the little guys feel awful.

  3. I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for posting this.

  4. I think you summed it up perfectly on behalf of all of us who aren't the friends of the organizers, and are therefore not among the must-haves.

  5. not a must have but not interested in being relegated to spectator so what Remmy said.

  6. As a reader I think this is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!!!! >:(

    1. I hear that Pat. But it seems the best I can do at this point is find another con to go to. There can't just be one, right?

  7. I'm with you Remmy and thank you for writing this. I'm saddened GRL has taken this turn. I will NOT be supporting it!

  8. I'm with all of you. My list of 'must-have' authors isn't the same as everyone else, so obviously I'm not important to them as a reader or as a writer.

  9. Thank you for writing this - it needs to be said! Others have commented and will comment, I am sure. I am still in shock they would make a stupid move like this and create yet more division in an already fragmented genre. If anyone, we need to be more inclusive, not less!!!

  10. Totally agree, Remmy and everyone else.
    I was planning on denying my own children a summer holiday to attend GRL because of all the positive things I had heard about it and how fabulous it was. Now I am only too glad that I didn't commit myself completely.

  11. Thanks guys. I know it seems as if I was being eloquent and I'm not sure how it came out like that because in my head all I kept seeing was "^&%#$$@#^$#$" but sometimes like I said, it's not what you say its how you say it. I was telling a friend of mine the other night that I couldn't take the BS in this genre anymore and was seriuosly debating switching but I started writing LGBT for a reason.

    I will totally looking into Outlantacon - I just heard about this one. Maybe I won't lost my summer afterall! Thanks for the support guys.

  12. Remmy,
    Thank you for this post!
    You and I have been around longer than many M/M authors and we've weathered many storms.
    I did not attend GRL last year. I have never been. I was invited to the very first one at Carol Lynne's house about five years ago but couldn't go. Only a handful of authors and readers attended. I know it's become huge now but I had been planning to go this year until I received their awful newsletter. I never expected to be in their top 30 of must-have authors to be pre-invited but for a bunch of authors working on this thing, their newsletter left a lot to be desired.
    I emailed Carol Lynne, a very nice woman, and asked her what the criteria would be for authors who want to participate but are not pre-invited. She said participating authors must have 3 books pubbed by the registration date, which I have, but I feel the whole process is divisive.
    She also said the pre-invite process means there are 40 spots left. 40! She told me readers complained last year about participating authors who had only one book published...or...shorts.
    So what? Isn't the idea for authors and readers to meet? I attended Romanticon last year and it was a blast. Some authors were there just signing copies of Ellora's Cave anthos in which they had short stories.
    So all in all I am really disgusted and will be spending my money elsewhere.
    I feel bad for last year's participating authors who did not make the "Must-Have Author" list. Another handful of mud to our genre's collective eye...

  13. Remmy, my darling dear, you hit it on the head. I is just poor little fish, barely coming up on the one year anniversary of my first release, and I have been Madly trying to figure out how i could get my nutty self to Atlanta, so i could pretend to be a grown up without children, take a friend out for a steak dinner for his birthday, and meet an aunt i've never met, all on top of racing about madly to meet as many of the authors and editors I either work with or read so much, and hopefully maybe even meet a certain stalker of mine (Pat, you know what you're up to...LOL) and just all around enjoy the whole thing. But to come home from work to find this...this is so terribly disappointing. I'm glad i haven't gotten my refund yet, so i can spend my money on something that treats people equally,big names and ittle bitty fish alike.

  14. This is definitely a no-win situation. The authors who made the cut will feel uncomfortable, the authors who don't will feel left out, people will refuse to attend. I don't see this ending well for anyone.

  15. Well, despite having more than the requisite number of novels published, I'm not one the elect, as I've heard nothing at all. Then, too, I'm willing to bet based on what I know of the personalities involved that there'll be people with only a single novel or story who make the cut. (shrug) It's a private event and the organizers may do as they wish, but it certainly makes me think twice about spending the money as a general author registrant.

  16. Very well said Remmy, and as all others here have said, it's disappointing. I saw a post on the FB page for GayRomLit, where it feels as if they are back-pedaling. Of course they are. They have angered a lot of people, both author and reader alike. I will say, I'm glad I got to go last year, because it was wonderful. The feelings generated this year will never come close to the welcoming warmth of last year, regardless of what may come of it. I've also been looking into going to a different con and it's been suggested to try Writers, Romance & Rainbows at Bent-con in December (in California). I'm seriously considering that one. Kudos again Remmy, for putting our feelings in perspective and voicing it.

  17. You could check out http://rainbowconference.org/ It's a new one, smaller, more conference oriented than social.

  18. As someone who's attended the past two GRLs I have to say the nice part was being found by the couple of fans who you are the "must-have" author for. So maybe it's not 400 or 40,000, but to those 10, 20, or even 2, it's worth it.

    The rest, however, is one big bachelorette party including penis hats, way too much booze, and a handful of elitist pricks that I hope to never meet (and will never read) again.

    Not how I want to be represented as an author or my genre to the rest of the world.

  19. Personally I want to thank the GRL organizers for helping me decided NOT to attend this year as a reader with their announcement.

    I am thinking of giving my money to another convention, the one in Tampa. I never liked Atlanta as a choice of cities anyway, but the way they handled this kerfluffle made my decision very easy.

  20. You know....I find it a little funny that most of my "MUST HAVE' authors have commented here! Wonder who the heck will be at this conference??


Now at Dreamspinner Press

Now at Dreamspinner Press
"This story is about two grown ass gay men that each have a little doubt for one reason or another if their relationship will work. The story is conveyed well and kept completely on the adult playing field, I loved it! When these two get going in the bedroom it is passionate and sensual."--TSM