Thursday, February 26, 2015
Thug Life- Not for Me
I took a breath, walked away from the computer, cleaned my whole house, drove my mom's car and washed it then finally sat down in front of my computer to pen a reply. Now, I know most of you reading this is thinking I shouldn't have responded to her because there is no hope for people like that, but I like trying to help people before I completely just walk away. I asked her what kind of black men was she hanging around with?
Ever since I was a child, I was never then one to conform to stereotypes. I watched Power Rangers instead of adult programming, I wore long, elegant skirts instead of booth shorts. I read books instead of going out and getting into trouble-I've been a strange against the grain girl since I was little.
One of the reasons I started writing M/M is because I got tired of the M/M I was reading. I've read books that I only finished reading because I paid for the things and would find it a complete waste if I DNR them. The gay romance/erotica I was reading were so deeply entrenched in stereotypes I wanted to cry every time. Either the men were too feminine, or they weren't at all very bright. One book I read had the main character sobbing from the fifth line of the first page and didn't seem to stop until the book ended. I'm not saying men don't cry, it's just they don't sob over every little thing--that is not sexy.
Which brings me to my black men. My black men are suave, intelligent -even if they aren't book smart they're street smart and they know when to be polite when when they need to be naughty. They don't talk thug. Sometimes there will be a splash of jargon in there but nothing too overtly offensive. I don't find thugs sexy. I don't like my men wearing their pants down showing the cracks of their asses. I don't like the flashing gang signs with "thug life" tattooed to their necks and saying the N word after every syllable.
It's like watching the newly coined "thug porn." The moment they start screaming "N word this" and "N word that" I clock out.
So, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with liking that or wanting to watch or read that kind of thing. If that's what you love then whatever floats your boat, but do not expect me to write that kind of thing. It is definitely not me and I don't accept that every black man out there has to talk as if they never heard the word "school". There are plenty of other people out there who write that kind of thing. I just want to make people see the other side of our black men. The side where they pronounce their words properly, who dress appropriately and who speak to people the way they would like to be spoken to. I write men who are positive role models, who are passionate and always seek to do the right thing.
What people fail to understand, is my brain works with things that I like. If a thug doesn't turn me on I cannot hope to write one that is as sexy as my man who works two jobs and is looking for love. I am tired of seeing black men in these roles that makes them seem as if they're the devil's offspring. This is another reason why I disliked the tv show GANG RELATED so desperately. It was another cesspool of the blacks were thugs holding their guns sideways and carrying out drive-bys, the Asians were Triads, the Latinos were Mexican cartel - it was just downright pathetic.
People are more than just the colour of their skin or the label we give them. People are better than the way a small a portion of fools from that culture. Look past the negative and see them as human beings deserving of love, laughter and happiness.
I chose to be that different voice that see through the horrible to the good. I chose to write men that I would date, that I find sexy and desirable. In my writing, I chose to be me.